Friday, August 23, 2013

Giving Up MY Rights

Now that I am 34 years old, married with three kids and working as a pastor, it is obviously a good time to start thinking about becoming a man. Society (I'm looking at you Nickelodeon!) has taught me to delay this process for as long as possible. I'm starting to think that society may have mislead me a bit. It has been fun and all, but now I'm feeling somewhat unprepared to be, well...ME.

Both of my grandfathers are deceased, and I live a long way from my father. I can't really go back in time and pay more attention to the lessons they taught me (yet!), but I can scour my brain for memories of "man lessons." One thing all of these men taught me by example was sacrifice. I knew each of them as men who had consistently sacrificed their own desires and comfort in order to provide for and protect others.

I'm bringing up sacrifice because I wanted to talk about something that all husbands, daddies and pastors need to do. You'll notice a link on my blog for k9 Web Filtering. It is a program that runs in the background on your computer and simply blocks access to all websites in categories that you or your accountability partner chooses. I'm telling you right now, you should definitely install and use this or a program like it.

Here is why you might think you don't want to do it:
  • I don't look at anything bad, so why should I junk up my computer with another program.
  • It might block something useful that I really need from the internet.
  • My wife/mom/roommates will think that I am a pervert if I use this.
  • What if a regular site gets reported as a bad sight and it reports me and someone thinks I went to a bad site?
  • I sometimes secretly look at bad stuff. This might make me get caught, and disrupt my secret source of pleasure.
Here is why you actually DO want to do it:
  • Even if you NEVER are tempted to look at bad sites, this will help protect you from accidentally coming across them.  I have detected no negative affects to my system's performance. Actually, it has protected me a few times from accidentally going to cleverly disguised scam sites.
  • The chances of anything on the internet actually being useful is really small, but even if something you MUST have is blocked, your accountability partner can give you temporary access.
  • Your wife, mom and roommates already know that you are a pervert. If you want to avoid the awkwardness of admitting it, just tell everyone you want to make your computer safe for "kids." No one can say anything to that.
  • In my experience nothing from my regular web surfing gets reported as questionable. Hopefully, the person holding you accountable loves you and isn't out to ruin your reputation because of a slip up or misunderstanding.
  • If you are doing ANYTHING secretly, and you are scared of getting caught, you need to stop right now. You have been building an imaginary dream world that is slowly turning you into a monster capable of terrible things. You should do whatever it takes to stop this behavior as soon as possible. This will include telling someone close to you about it. If you can't do that then you are a slave and a fool and pain is on it's way for you and those you care about.
You may think this is an inconvenience that isn't worth it. I'm arguing that being a man means that you will make sacrifices for those you are responsible for. The minor inconvenience and humility it takes to be accountable with your web activity is WELL worth it if only for the sake of presenting a good example to those who look up to you. Maybe you aren't tempted by anything on the internet (really?), but many of your friends and family are. When you set the example by giving up more than you are required it helps the community around you take those same steps. When your wife knows that you love her so much you are willing to admit weakness and give up some control of your life, her respect for you can grow. When you shine light on the dark areas of your life, your children can grow up with a firm faith in your integrity that will be an anchor for them the rest of their lives.

So what are you waiting for. Click the K9 link right now and get started. Let me know if you need tech support.